Bang! You did awesome and set up a first date.
You both showed up and made the best of it.
But what do you text after the first date to make the biggest & best impact?
You’re about to find out!
Here’s what you get in this article:
- The 3 worst texts to send after a first date (that most people send!)
- My 2 copy paste ‘Thank you’ texts that make your date smile
- 2 Screenshot examples from coach Dan (that secured him the second date)
- Free gift: 10 copy paste texts to keep the conversation going
- If you had a mediocre date: I’ll tell you how to reject someone after a bad first date
- Much more…
By the way, do you sometimes get stuck in online conversations? Very frustrating… but there is a simple solution. I created a bonus named The 10 Texts That Always Work, including my favorite text to send when I have gotten her number, an easy message to get her out on a date, and some witty lines to get the conversation going. Download it, it’s completely free and easy to use.
#1 Three bad texting examples sent after the first date
If you’ve had a fun first date and you are down for a second one…
…then avoid the most common mistakes.
I’ve seen countless second date plans vanish like a bag of Doritos nacho cheese in the hands of a basement dwelling WoW RP-PVE player.
(if that metaphor wasn’t clear: they vanished REALLY fast)
Probably the WORST text you could send, is one from another dating advice website.
It pains me so much to see them giving out advice like this but hey…
…maybe I can prevent some of the damage they do to unaware men’s dating lives, by posting it here as worst text after a date ever.
Are you ready?
After you left I spent hours imagining how tasty your body must look naked.
I swear I can physically feel the cringe run through my veins as I am reading this text.
I don’t think I have to explain why this is bad, right?
As a guy, you would probably be happy with a text like this. Unless if you are looking for a serious long term relationship.
But imagine being a girl. You probably exchanged some basic info like what you studied and what your family is like. Then you both told a great travel story and before you knew, the date came to an end.
You get home, check your phone and the guy says he has been fantasizing about what you look like naked.
He was probably undressing you in his mind the whole time while you were telling him how you swam underneath a waterfall in India.
But don’t worry, there’s plenty of other text advice I found by this same team.
The problem here?
When you send something over text that conveys a completely DIFFERENT vibe than your actual date, then it creates a total mismatch online versus offline. We will focus more on this later.
How about this one:
You’re incredible, you were the highlight of my night and the star of my dreams.
It’s too bad you had to leave so early, we didn’t even have the chance to kiss.
There’s only one type of guy that would text something like this.
And it’s this type:
Watch the video above twice, please. And feel the burn. Remember this feeling forever.
That is what your date will feel when you send a sexual text right after a first date that wasn’t sexual.
Aaaaand that’s enough cringe for today.
Let’s see what we can actually text to make your girl smile, and secure that second date!
#2: Two ‘Thank you’ text examples that will make your date smile
Want to show her that you liked the date? Better avoid coming across as either uninterested or too interested?
Just copy my 2 ‘thank you’ example texts and send them after the first date.
All you need to do is slightly alter them so they are tailored to your date.
Like I wrote before, it’s important to recreate the vibe you had offline.
Here’s the most standard of the two texts after first date:
Hey [name], thanks for earlier. I really enjoyed [what you did], and your company wasn’t bad either [emoji that makes clear you’re joking]
So let’s say you went on a date with Louise and you went bowling together. Then your text looks like this:
Hey Louise, thanks for earlier. I really enjoyed throwing those strikes, and your company wasn’t bad either 😉
As you see [what you did] was ‘bowling’. But why not make it slightly more visual.
Want to make your text more visual? Add details!
- throwing strikes
- attempts at throwing strikes
- bruising my fingers by trying to impress you with picking the heaviest bowling balls
As always, humor is the key ingredient.
The second example is a bit more lengthy. Because you’ll give her a compliment. And this is where you need to be careful.
Thanking a woman for a date with her is the polite thing to do. But understand this:
A woman doesn’t want a man who is necessarily thankful for her time and energy.
She wants a man that makes her feel APPRECIATED. When she feels appreciated, she won’t mind investing her time and energy into you.
It’s a small difference, I know. Yet the difference of meaning is massive.
And once you fully understand this, you’ll notice the big difference it will have on your dating life.
This appreciative attitude ties in with the next tip:
When complimenting a woman, keep in mind that she isn’t waiting for you to worship her appearance. There’s already plenty of men doing so.
If you’ve been on a date with her, compliment her on her behavior instead.
She’s pretty much born with her looks. Her behavior and interest are things she has more of a say in
Just look at this example from one of the coaches:
PS: don’t report me to the police thanks.
The Post Scriptum about being reported to the police is callback humor. The guy shared a story of some crazy adventure he had been on.
What do you think she’d appreciate more? Her date telling her she has interesting stories, followed by some details to show he actually paid attention and listened…
…or her date texting her this:
PS: don’t report me to the police thanks
The second text pretty much says: “My summary of our time together is that you are good looking. I can’t really be arsed with what you say or do.”
Please, feel free to steal this format and change it where need so that it fits your date experience.
For 10 other stealable lines from my coaches and I, click here. I’m currently giving them away for free.
#3 Sample text after first date (real life example)
In this tip, I’m giving you an example of how to text her after the date so you can be smooth sailing towards date number 2.
One of the quickest ways to master anything, is to see exactly how other people do it.
So sit back and relax, and enjoy another example from one of the TextGod coaches.
Here’s some context:
Coach Dan went on a date with a Brazilian girl. Before the date, they texted about being cold as a person.
During the date they talked about Dutch people being more direct, and she made a comment that coach Dan was more sexual than most Brazilians. (That’s quite the compliment, m’lady.)
And at some point during the date, coach Dan started ranting about how emasculated the monkey face emojis are, and that no self-respecting man should use them. (I bet this is the part where she swooned over him)
These culprits: 🙈🙉🙊
So, here’s what he texted after the date on WhatsApp:
Is there any super-special-super-secret-magic-technique being used here?
Just like in Tip #2, we:
- Say some sort of thank you (Good seeing you)
- And refer back to the date (Cold Dutch hugs)
And then in the texts after there’s more references to the date, like the monkey emoji spam.
Followed by Dan planning the second date, which at the time of writing is set for this Tuesday.
Now, if there’s a bit of a bloodhound in you, then you might have paid attention to the timestamps of the texts.
They sort of tell you when to text her after the date, but not really.
But don’t you worry, comrade, the next tip will tell you just that!
#4 When to text after first date
So you had a first date and you want to text her. You have copy pastable texts to send her BUT…
…WHEN do you hit her up? Do you text after the first date or the next day?
Let’s say you had a coffee date around 4pm.
When would you text her, bro?
Here are 5 options for you:
1. right after
2. hour after
3. two-three hours after
4. four-five hours after
5. six-seven hours after
Alright, chose one?
Here’s the biggest mistake you could have made:
Texting her CHEESY stuff RIGHT AFTER the date.
PLEASE NO. STOP. ABANDON SHIP!
Imagine how creeped out you would be by this overly attached girl.
Those kinds of text CAN be sweet when you’re in the lovey-dovey phase. Not after a first date.
I’d go for option C usually. Or in this case E.
Option C, 2-3 hours after the date is quite casual. You give each other some time to breath. Some time to process the date. And then hit her up with a solid text.
Option E, 6-7 hours would be texting her at in the late evening, when she’s in bed. Imagine YOU went on a date. You don’t hear from the girl after the date. You start wondering why. Did you fuck up? You relive the date while brushing your teeth…
…damn, you actually really liked the time spent together.
As you crawl into bed it happens…
A text. And it’s from her.
Thanks for earlier, I really enjoyed that. Maybe we can do it again some time?
That would feel GOOD wouldn’t it? Especially after not hearing from her for a couple of hours and starting to stress out a little bit.
And you have the same effect.
The tricky part is the timing. Do it too late and she’s asleep. Do it too early and… well then she’ll read it before she’s in bed. Not the ideal scenario for but not a disaster either.
So, m’reader, now you know what I think about the timing of your text after the first date.
Do with it what you will.
#5 How often should you text
You know WHAT to text and you know WHEN to text. In this tip I’ll tell you HOW often to text so that you don’t scare the girl away and lose her (for all of eternity).
When I was browsing Reddit to see what they think about the first text after a date, I saw a girl posting this:
Yeah, excessive messaging can be a turn off but too LITTLE can be confusing and frustrating…
I agree. And so do you.
Because even though her advice sounds very smart, she’s (unknowingly) using a clever argumentation trick.
Namely that ANYTHING excessive is bad. And too little of ANYTHING is bad. “Too little” and “excessive” are bad by definition.
It’s a smart answer that doesn’t give you a solution.
Because how much is excessive? And how little it TOO little?
It’s a tough question to answer, because every situation is different.
But here’s a few guidelines to stick to:
The first text is yours (unless if she beats you to it). From earlier in this article you already know when to send it and what to say in it.
If she texts you a lot, you can text back a lot. But in this case it’s better to lock in a second date.
If she is quiet over text, then don’t try to force a texting marathon. Instead probe her to see if she’s down for a second date.
A conversation where both of you put in approximately equal amounts of text is good. If she texts more than you, then you’re good too.
If she texts less than you but does text you, good, still propose a second meetup.
If she doesn’t text you back at all anymore…
Then she should read the tip right below here:
#6 Ladies: rejection text after first date
Whether you’re a lady or a fine gentleman, when a date was bad, you need to let the other person know.
But how do you do this without hurting your date? How can you be a gentleman or a kind woman when rejecting someone?
I really enjoyed hearing your stories about China and your other travels. Care for a round 2?
Rather not, I didn’t enjoy your presence. Have a good life though.
That’s a good example of how not to do it.
If you had an awkward date or a straight up BAD date, there’s never a reason to make the other person feel bad.
But if he or she still wants to see you, then it’s your job to say things as they are. Nothing much more rare and valuable than some good old honesty.
All you need to do it spit some truth. In a considerate way.
Now let me tell you a secret:
I am not a woman. I have a penis and a primitive man-brain. BUT if I were a woman, I’d verse my rejection text something along the lines of this:
Hey, Louis! I just want to thank you for your time earlier. I respect you a lot for [x]. However I didn’t feel the connection I’m looking for right now. I know that might suck to hear, but I want to be honest with you and with myself. I hope you understand and I wish you all the best.
[x] being whatever you found noteworthy about the guy. For example: his honesty.
Would this text make him feel great about the situation? Heck no it won’t.
But will it clear up any confusion he might have? Heck yes, it will.
If he now chooses to keep chasing and trying to get with the girl, then that’s on him.
(And he shouldn’t, he should respect her choice and leave her be.)
If you’re a guy that didn’t get a text back at all, then read on, I’ll tell you what to do in just a bit.
Bonus: Video on how to text her back
After every successful first date comes a text message…
…and what you’re texting her right then and there, sets the tone for the rest of the online conversation.
So choose… your words… WISELY!
I shot a video for you, sharing all my secrets (except the perverted ones.)
Check the video here:
Here is what you’re getting in the video:
- 9 Lines from another online dating “expert” (that will make her throw up)
- A trick that makes post-date text easy as pie, and super impactful
- My “Listen Remind Flirt” technique
- A super smart quote by Dale Carnegie that I can’t remember
- How to set up the second date
- A second -equally juicy- way to set up the second date
All together that’s good for 6 minutes and 16 seconds of my annoying face on your screen.
Seen it? Then let’s hop over to Reddit for a second.
#7 Some Reddit examples (great and not so great advice)
This Reddit user stumbled upon the following problem:
So I went on a date yesterday where we both hit it off quite well and both had a great time. After I dropped her off and got home, I realized I have no idea what to talk about now. I know she likes me and is attracted to me but I’m afraid my brain is gonna just stay turned off and I’ll go from being funny, smart, and interesting to being boring as shit.
Let’s see if he got some good or bad advice from others.
Here’s some replies I found in the comments:
I usually wait 3-4 days after the first date…
❌Holy hell. Imagine going on a date and then not hearing from the girl from 3-4 days. Do you expect her to stay still in the meanwhile?
Then once your brain is clear, text that you had a great time and would love to go out again.
✅ If you’re a bit of an eager guy that tends to get easily excited. Then by all means. Lotion up and text her when your brain actually works.
Do an activity for the second date, not something like dinner where you just sit and talk. Go bowling or something like that. The activity gives the date momentum and gives you something to talk about.
✅Great advice, good sir. Not only for the second date, but definitely for the first date as well. Just like this fella responded:
Great choice! It makes you seem interesting with real hobbies, which is ideal. IMO dinner isn’t even a good option for any of the first few dates. It’s boring, and feels like an interview.
✅Yes sir, it can easily get an interview vibe, and I don’t know about your job interviews, but mine weren’t very sexy per se.
Obviously set up a second date, and in the meantime just ask questions, show her you want to get to know her more. Ask her about her day or her favorite movie, ask her where’d she like to travel to one day, etc.
✅Yes, work towards that second date. Why else are you texting her.
❌No on all the rest. I’m hoping that you do want to get to know her indeed. But you’re not trying to find out all the details about her over text in between date 1 and 2. It’s ok to ask her a question and show some interest. But keep the general vibe playful and teasing. DON’T text her boring things like “Hey, how is your day?”. I can think of 69 more interesting texts to work towards a second date.
If you do send her those boring, standard questions, there’s a fair chance to you won’t get a response after the first date.
#8 No response text after the first date
So you got a text after first date then nothing… Or maybe you texted her and she didn’t even bother to respond.
You may have lost your potential wifey, the mother of your children just vanished!
Maybe, who knows…
…but that sh!t doesn’t even matter.
If you went on a date with a girl and you get no response to your text after the first date, then there’s 3 things I would advise:
- Give her at least a day to respond, maybe even 2, then text a second time
- Find out what you could do better next time
- Stop having scarcity mindset, shrug your shoulders and move on
If a girl is ghosting you, that’s her choice. If you let her haunt you, that’s on you.
#9 God’s gift for setting up the next date
You armed and ready to set up those second dates now, player.
You know what to do and what not to do when it comes to your text after the first date, at least.
For all other texts you are on your own…
You can cheat by using 10 copy paste texts my team and I use. There’s stuff to ask her out with, stuff to reply when she has been silent for a long time, stuff to give her those Hollywood romantic drama feels, stuff for everything pretty much.
Go ahead and download it here, and enjoy those second dates!
For more tips, check out these articles:
And don’t forget your download below 😉